- Taking Back Your Power
- Posts
- 🌟 These words were like a slap in the face
🌟 These words were like a slap in the face
But I needed someone to tell me
Rina Groeneveld
February 02, 2024
I still feel the shock that coursed through me when these words leapt off the page.
It was 11 years ago, in a cozy corner of a diner, with the aroma of fresh coffee in the air and a copy of Nathaniel Branden's "The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem" in my hands.
No one is coming to save me; no one is coming to make life right for me; no one is coming to solve my problems. If I don’t do something, nothing is going to get better.
The dream of a rescuer who will deliver us may offer a kind of comfort, but it leaves us passive and powerless. We may feel If only I suffer long enough, if only I yearn desperately enough, somehow a miracle will happen, but this is the kind of self-deception one pays for with one’s life as it drains away into the abyss of unredeemable possibilities and irretrievable days, months, decades.
That phrase “no one is coming to save me” hit me like a wet fish across the face. It was raw, unfiltered, and brutally honest. And it changed everything for me.
When we're lost in a high-conflict divorce, separation, or custody battle, we often find ourselves waiting.
Waiting for a saviour, a miracle, or a sudden twist of fate to pull us out of the turmoil. But here's a hard truth – one that stings, liberates, and empowers all at once:
Gif by hannahgraphix on Giphy
🔥 You are your own hero
In this journey of reclaiming your life from the shadows of post-separation abuse, the first and most crucial step is when you realize that
the
power
to heal,
to change,
and to triumph
is right inside you.
It's embracing that you have the strength to rise above the chaos. And then getting off your you-know-what and taking steps to find ways to do this. (Once you start looking, I promise, you'll see them everywhere.)
It's
realizing
that your future
isn't written by your past
or dictated by someone else's actions.
It's in 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 hands – resilient, capable, and ready to write a new chapter.
This realization isn't easy. It's a journey that's going to take courage, tears, and an unyielding resolve to find your peace and power again.
When was the moment you realized that only you had the power to change your story?
What was your "no one is coming to save you" epiphany?
💭 Hit “reply” to this email and let me know.
Did someone forward this to you?
Want to know more about me?
Resources
“Self-esteem’ is a buzzword that’s been tossed around and misused in many ways in the last couple of decades. The Six Pillars of Self Esteem by Nathaniel Branden doesn’t rely on the “feelgood” aspect of self-esteem. It’s actually about increasing our self-efficacy, and it also contains useful hints and practical exercises to do this.
Side note: Branden himself had struggles with self-esteem earlier in his life, which partly resulted him being caught up in a bizarre cult-like affair/relationship with the author Ayn Rand. When he ended the relationship, he was smeared and vilified by Rand and her followers in the Objectivist movement – his own personal experience of post-separation abuse.
*This is an Amazon affiliate link. I spend a lot of time providing information and content and helping free of charge here and on other platforms, and I appreciate it if you decide to purchase anything via the links in my newsletter. It's a simple way to support the work I do without any extra cost to you. Thank you for being a part of this community and for your continued support!
