🦚 Breaking free from your narcissist ex

Once upon a time, there was a princess who’d been married to her prince for many years.

Each year, she felt herself slipping away, bit by bit. She walked on eggshells around her prince. She learned to keep her anger and hurt to herself, but it boiled up inside her, threatening to choke her. She’d lie in bed next to him at night, hearing him breathe, and wished with all her heart that when she woke up in the morning, he’d have stopped breathing. But it never happened.

Finally, one day, she did an incredibly brave thing. She left her castle and her prince and found a little cottage in the woods for herself and her children.

Where they all lived happily ever after.

The End

Except that it wasn’t. For the second time in her life, the princess realized that her happy ending was slipping through her fingers. Ensconced in her cozy cottage, she faced a new challenge. The remnants of her past—the shadows of her once seemingly perfect kingdom—lingered like unwelcome guests. Her prince, now an ex, didn’t just fade away quietly. Instead, he was still an ever-present storm cloud, constantly upending her attempts to find peace and joy for her and her children.

She was forced to make a pact with the Prince. The children had to go back to the castle every second week for a week at a time. They would come back to her spellbound, with shadows of control in their eyes and the Prince’s evil whispers in their heads.

One day, ruminating over her prince’s latest shenanigans, she had an AHA moment.

Her happy ending was never going to be something that just happened. She had to actively work towards it—every moment of every day—with every decision, every action, and every word that came out of her mouth. It seemed like an exhausting task.

But the Princess has found a way to make the task easier. She’s developed a system to keep her moving towards her happy ending.

The princess starts each day by focusing on what the end of her story will look like. She has a clear vision of her utopia. It’s a life where she and her children thrive, unburdened by fear or resentment. She imagines every detail of that life first thing when she wakes up every morning.

She turns her little cottage into a fortress of resilience that no storm can reach.

It’s not easy. When the children come back from the castle, burdened by the weight of their father’s influence, the Princess is constantly triggered by the things they say and do.

Each time this happens, she carefully chooses her thoughts: "I am the safe haven where my children can rediscover their true selves." This thought empowers her, shifting her emotional state from anxiety to compassion and determination. It sets the tone for her to respond with love and patience rather than frustration.

Her chosen thoughts generate feelings of calm and resilience, which drive her actions. She engages her children in activities that reinforce their sense of security and self-worth. They play games, tell stories, and explore the woods around their cottage, grounding them in the present and helping them shed the shadows of the castle.

Through these actions, the princess creates an environment where her children feel valued and understood. She sees a gradual but significant change. With each visit, the children return from the castle a little bit less burdened by its influence, their eyes brighter, and their spirits more resilient.

The princess knows that this journey is ongoing, but she’s armed with a powerful tool—a mindset that turns each day into a step towards her happy ever after. At long last,, her story isn’t something that’s happening to her.

She’s actively creating a new story, where she and her children are the architects of their destiny, not just passive characters in someone else's tale.

And so, with her unwavering vision and the strength of her heart, the princess keeps fighting to build her utopia, one thought, one action, and one day at a time.

THE END

Want to know how I can help you?

Are you ready to be the architect of your own story, just like the princess in our tale? If you're struggling to cope with the emotional fallout of a high-conflict divorce and/or custody battle and looking for a way to reclaim your power, I'm here to help. Let's work together to craft your utopia and make it a reality. Book a free 30-minute discovery call with me today, and let's start building your path to a brighter future, one step at a time. Click here to schedule your session. I'm looking forward to supporting you on this journey!

And if you want to find out more about what I do:

Resources

I’m going back to an old favorite here because I think it’s a powerful tool for recreating your life. It’s Brooke Castillo’s “Model”. This isn’t just another self-help gimmick. It’s a no-nonsense framework that shows you exactly how your thoughts impact your feelings, drive your actions, and shape your results. It’s like having a roadmap for your mind. So, stop waiting for the perfect moment and start using this model to take control of your story. You’ve got the power to create a life you and your children deserve, one thought, one decision, and one action at a time.