🌪 Stopping the spiral

My listing was gone from the CDC Certified Divorce Coach® website.

What had I done wrong to make them take it down? Was it the poop emoji in one of my recent LinkedIn posts? Or maybe it was the way I trashed a bestselling self-help author a couple of newsletters ago?

I tried to stop myself catastrophizing but I went to bed with my heart pumping. I don’t think I slept properly because my body was tense even in my dreams. The next morning, I woke up tired and still panicky well before 5 a.m., convinced that my short and glorious career as a divorce coach was over.

I tried to rein in my catastrophizing. I tried to tell myself, “It’s probably just a technical glitch.”

It didn’t help. As I sat at my computer, working (because I was up anyway, so I might as well), I felt the left side of my body go numb with stress. So I did the only thing I could do. I sent them an email, saying, “I went to edit my listing on divorce support help yesterday, and it appears not to be there anymore. Is there an issue? If so, can you please let me know what this is?”

There was nothing I could do now. I just had to wait to hear from them—“Sorry, but you’re not good enough for us and we’ve decided to kick you out!” So I decided to focus on what I could control right now—my workout.

My father and all his brothers have had type 2 diabetes since their early 50s and for the last 2 years, my fasting glucose has been sitting at 0.1 above normal. I’m convinced that the only reason I don’t have diabetes yet, even though I’m about 40lb overweight, is because of my nearly daily intense workouts.

The one I chose today was a cardio strength-training workout with resistance bands. It’s called Billy Blanks cardio boot camp. It’s an old favourite of mine—the one with the burpees I always used to avoid doing.

Every time my mind went back to my missing listing, I hyperfocused on the movement I was doing, making sure I got it just right. I even managed to get ten rapid burpees in (or, as Billy calls them, “squat thrusts”). It was my best workout performance in years.

And by the time I finished the workout, the response to my email had rolled in. It was a technical glitch. Somehow, my listing had been set to "draft”, which was why it wasn’t showing up. So much for all my spiralling and catastrophizing. 🙄

I remember one of the worst times of my divorce saga, when I was at my lowest, convinced that I’d failed my kids, ruined their lives, even. I felt weak all the time. I was an expert at catastrophizing back then.

I wish I’d known then what I know now.

Yes, there are things I have no control over right now, but I don’t need to let them take over everything in my life. Instead, I can focus on what I CAN control.

I can put my energy into those things instead of throwing it all at something that’s out of my control.

Billy Blanks isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but I know there’s something in your life you love doing, and that’s important to you for some reason.

That’s the thing you can lean into in those moments when you feel like everything’s spiralling out of control.

It could be painting, knitting, hiking, or even cooking.

Whatever it is, immerse yourself in it. Focus on each stroke of the paintbrush, each new perfect stitch, every step you take on a hiking trail—the sights, sounds, smells, and feeling how it’s making your body stronger and fitter—or chopping ingredients to the perfect size.

Let it anchor you, comfort you, and remind you that you are a capable person outside of the immediate crisis that’s making you feel helpless. This isn't just about distraction—it's about reconnecting with parts of yourself that bring strength, joy, and stability.

Life's challenges can feel all-consuming. It’s easy to get lost in the storm.

But remember, you are more than this storm.

You’re a person with unique talents and hobbies that make you, you. You can take a step back to breathe when life’s too much, and dive into your passions. They're not just hobbies; they're lifelines.

In the meantime, my listing is back up again. You can see it here.

Want to know how I can help you?